What the F**k is This 'Serverless' Thing

Alright, I’m just going to come right out and say it - this whole “serverless architecture” craze has me utterly baffled. Everywhere I look, businesses are raving about it like it’s the second coming of sliced bread. But from where I’m standing, it just sounds like a bunch of buzzword-laden bullshit.

According to the hype, serverless computing, or “Function-as-a-Service” (FaaS) as the cool kids call it, is supposed to be some revolutionary paradigm shift in cloud computing. Supposedly, it eliminates the need for companies to manage physical servers or virtual machines. Instead, the cloud providers dynamically allocate compute resources based on demand. And get this - you only pay for what you use rather than maintaining idle servers.

Yeah, yeah, I get that scalability and cost efficiency are important. But isn’t that what we’ve been doing with traditional server-based architectures all along? Just with a bit more manual effort? Now, serverless is being touted as this inherently scalable, automatically scaling solution that can handle traffic surges without breaking a sweat. Give me a break!

Then there’s the whole “reduced operational overhead” song and dance. Developers can just focus on coding without worrying about server management, patching, and all that jazz. Like we weren’t doing that already with DevOps and automation tools? But hey, if the cloud providers want to take on that responsibility, I’m not going to complain.

And don’t get me started on this “modular, event-driven” nonsense. Small code functions triggered by events like API calls or database updates? Isn’t that just a fancy way of describing microservices or something? I swear, these tech folks just love to reinvent the wheel and slap a new label on it.

Look, I’m not denying that serverless architecture might have its uses, especially for event-driven workloads or short-lived tasks. But let’s be real here, it’s not a magical solution for every use case. Try running long-running or computationally intensive applications on this thing, and you’ll be in for a world of hurt. And good luck monitoring and debugging these distributed serverless monstrosities.

Yet, companies are acting like serverless is the greatest thing since unsliced bread (because sliced bread is apparently too mainstream now). Job postings are demanding years of experience with serverless platforms that have barely been around for a couple of years. It’s like the tech industry has collective amnesia and has forgotten about all the other perfectly good solutions out there.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for innovation and embracing new technologies when they make sense. But this serverless mania feels more like a case of shiny object syndrome than a genuine revolution in computing. It’s like we’re all a bunch of easily distracted kids, chasing after the latest fad without really understanding what it’s all about.

Or maybe I’m just an old, grumpy dinosaur who can’t keep up with the changing times. Perhaps serverless architecture really is the future, and I’m just too stuck in my ways to see its brilliance. In that case, someone please enlighten me, because right now, all I see is a whole lot of hype and not much substance.

Cheers,

Sim